For 12 years I dedicated my life to yoga. The idea is, my inner well being should not be subject to external situations but independent from anything that happens on the outside.
I had witnessed many tragedies from the very start of my life that made it essential for me to seek freedom from the world.
This yogic or life concept is brilliant and although i still theoretically agree with it, i never managed to really achieve it completely.
I definitely had times when i was untouched by external situations but i think the whole process made me aloof.
I had to not care too much for things and people in order to be untouched.
From where i stand now, i want to care. I want to be extremely happy and i am okay to be extremely sad and heartbroken. I think it’s what makes me alive.
Mind you, i do not blame Yoga for my inability to apply it. I just think that my emotions are too important for me and i am unwilling to give them up.